Why Men Batter | Mental Health Directory

Motivation for domestic violence is solely the abuser?s choice. Although victims often feel responsible for provoking abuse, domestic violence is always an intentional act of domination chosen by the abuser. While abusers often appear impulsive and to have lost control over their behavior, intimate partner violence is a choice to control and dominate the victim. Abusers use dangerous power and control tactics as ?skills? to ?manage? their intimate relationships.

Hostile Dependency

Men who batter are motivated by an intense dependency upon their partners. Any actual or perceived threat to the relationship triggers abuse. Women are particularly at risk, for example, when leaving an abusive relationship because batterers will escalate their efforts to keep their victims close. Perceived threats to the relationship endanger the victim as well. A woman?s desire to go to school, for example, may be interpreted by an abuser as her attempt to leave him.

Driven by an intense need to maintain the relationship at any cost, batterers attempt to ?protect? their relationship. This is done by ensuring that the victim will not challenge him, act independently, have other significant attachments or interests or have the emotional, psychological or physical means to leave him. The batterer?s emotional and psychological needs dominate all decisions he makes about his partner and the relationship. These needs are so intense and consuming that consistent empathy for the partner is not possible.

Fear of Abandonment

The abuser uses a variety of tactics designed to exert power, control and dominance over their partners. These are chosen to accomplish the abuser?s relationship goals which are to keep the victim close and to avoid abandonment, ?disrespect? and rejection. Tactics typically continue until the abuser gets what he wants since any loss of control and domination is threatening and triggers an intolerable insecurity. Even a perceived loss of control and domination can trigger abuse. Tactics designed to re-establish dominance are used to ?adjust? the victim?s behavior so he will not feel threatened. Abusers are so governed by their insecurity and fear of abandonment that they often believe they have no choice but to harm their partners emotionally, psychologically and physically.

Power and Control Tactics

Battering behavior can involve a wide variety of strategies that are chosen only for their effectiveness. Tactics vary as situations vary and are usually limited only by the resources of control available to the abuser. Abusers typically move from one tactic to another until domination and control over their victims is established. Abusive strategies are used in all areas of life with any intimate partner. They include manipulation through the use of economics, parenting, social activities, communication, sex, physical safety, division of labor, relationship roles, decision-making, problem-solving and respect.

Driven by the motivation to use whatever works, an abuser will choose to exert control in any of these areas in order to maintain a sense of dominance over the victim and a sense of security for himself. The choice of particular abuse tactics has very little to do with actual relationship issues. They are driven by the abuser?s need for control, power and dominance.

Rigid Beliefs and Socialization

Abusers typically have rigid beliefs about intimate relationships. Early experiences such as witnessing domestic violence as children create beliefs that women should be dominated and controlled. The use of emotional, psychological and physical harm in intimacy is considered a legitimate and justified way to maintain the ?appropriate? balance of power and control in a relationship. An underlying belief that men are entitled to dominance and privilege also motivates an attempt to dominate and control women.

Objectification and Lack of Empathy

Victims are used to meet the inappropriate emotional and psychological needs of their abusers. Abusive relationships are founded upon a power differential in which the abuser has important needs and the victim does not. Regarding partners as less important and less entitled to respect and dignity allows the batterer to rationalize abuse. Victims are objectified or viewed as ?less than? other people and are used to satisfy the abusers need to feel dominant, powerful and important.

Societal and Cultural Influences

Some societies and cultures sanction the abuse of women. This can be done through laws that establish women as ?property? of men as well as laws that do not provide protection from domestic violence. Less formally, some societies and cultures value men and boys more than women and girls. These tend to tolerate male domination of females and physical abuse of them more readily. The concept of male privilege is a foundational concept in domestic violence. This asserts, either by law or tradition, that men are entitled to a greater status and have more social power than women.

Source: http://www.mentalhealthdirectory.org/why-men-batter/

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